Amusement
by NanDeMoNai
Summary: Certain drugs really shouldn't be made... Especially those that mess up your feelings and emotions. [Oneshot, Yaoi, KabutoOrochimaru]


**A/N: I don't support this pairing. At all… But a friend of mine requested this. Talk about crack pairings, man… I'm not excepting great reviews, because even I shudder as I read this. I have not gone insane, but this is only out of my weird head that this came when I was eating chocolate. This was supposed to be humorous as well, but I failed. By the gods, this sucks! Well, maybe you'll enjoy this more than I do…**

The candles flickered in uncertainty, reluctant to give off light. Their wax dripped down their sides and settled among the wooden table where they were placed. Flickering and wavering flames stood upon a thin wick. Plain, white, unadorned they were, but they sufficed the dark dungeon-like lair that they were in.

Vials upon vials stood in grim lines across the otherwise barren table. A few scrolls and books added to the picture. Here and there a blotch of ink. The wood was already worn down from the dampness that filled the air.

Glass framed in thin wire made the light bounce off and hid the eyes behind them. Silver hair strands slightly obscured the pale face that wore those glasses. A thin sigh escaped through cracked, dry lips.

Kabuto reached out and instinctively felt for the cup of water he had left on the table earlier. He was sitting at the table, thoroughly concentrated on the scroll in front of him. The room was dark except for the previously mentioned candles, but even they didn't give enough light to illuminate the dark corners of the table. His fingers brushed onto cold glass and he pulled it closer to him.

Muttering quietly about something he was reading, he tilted his head up and poured the liquid into his mouth, not really looking at it. A gulp later he sputtered out the "water". That did _not_ taste like water. Coughing and wiping his mouth on his arm he shoved the glass near a candle. The liquid was clear, like water but there was a label on the side of the glass.

_Experiment # 729_, he read. Panicking, he put down the glass quickly and searched for the scroll that contained information about it. Many of the glasses and vials that he had on the desk were colorless, odorless, and tasteless poison. While he frantically searched he scolded himself for being so stupid to put a glass of water there. He had been so absorbed in the scroll that he had forgotten about it.

Clumsy hands finally discovered the right scroll. He swept the scroll he was reading aside and unrolled the one he was holding. His eyes scanned the cracked scroll for the right number.

_729, 729… 729!_

"_Experiment 729: Tastes like copper, no color, no smell, no cure._

_9/12/06: Finally concocted a drug that alters brainwaves and emotions. Only flaw is taste and unsatisfactory emotion changes._

_9/15/06: Able to make taste less strong, but still slightly unstable._

_9/18/06: Strength of drug finalized. Choice emotion is finalized. Feeling of love._

_9/21/06: Taste still not going away. Success on finalizing the emotion. Drug now successfully causes consumer to act irrationally towards the first person they see._

_9/26/06: Experiment canceled_

_Final conclusions: Faint taste, no color, no taste, when consumed causes consumer to love the first person that they see and act irrationally, effects last one week per gram._

_Total amount: 100 grams_."

Kabuto paled when he read the last part. He grabbed the glass up again and looked at the measurement: 52 grams was left. He drank roughly 48 grams of the drug. Well, he did spit out a good deal of it…

He glanced at the date again. September 26. That's why it was sitting on the table and uncorked. He had stopped working on it three days ago when Orochimaru said it was unnecessary and canceled the experiment.

He had later been called out to help Orochimaru moments after he was told to stop. Kabuto didn't have the time to clean the drug up and forgot once he came back.

_No cure, no cure_… Kabuto thought quickly. He couldn't avoid everyone for the rest of his life but acting irrationally towards the first person he saw was not a pleasant thought. Especially when everyone in the place was creepy and rude.

He tore off his glasses and pinched the skin between his eyes, trying to think.

"Kabuto!" a thick, silky voice commanded from the dark doorway. He jumped and turned to look at who was calling him even though he had heard that voice enough times to know who it was. Suddenly remembering what he just drank he clenched his eyes shut.

"Orochimaru-sama… What is it that you need from me?" he asked to him blindly. With the hand that he wasn't using to hold his glasses, he felt for the edge of the table and leaned back on it slightly.

"Sasuke-kun is… Kabuto, look at me," the voice snarled when he realized that the medic nin had his eyes closed.

"I… I can't," he stuttered, trying to think of how to explain to his master that he just drank a drug that will make him infatuated with him if he opened his eyes.

"What's that?" Soft footsteps could be heard as Orochimaru stalked closer to the young man. Kabuto took in a sharp intake of breath when he felt cold hands close around his throat and lift him up slightly. "Why not, Kabuto-kun? Look at me," he commanded in a low, dangerous voice into Kabuto's ear. "It's rude not to _look_ at someone when they are talking to you…" he growled, tightening his grip.

"O-Orochimar-" he choked out, "… Can't…" Came the broken reason.

"Look at me!" his voice rang throughout the small room and made Kabuto cringe. If it was one thing you don't want to do, it's anger Orochimaru.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama…" he whispered and opened his eyes hesitantly. Once he did, he saw Orochimaru's face glaring down as his own. The vice grip around his neck loosened and he fell back to the floor. "I'm sorry…" he apologized.

"There, there, Kabuto-kun. Stand up," his master cooed in an entirely different voice than before. "You're wearing such an interesting expression, Kabuto-kun," he crooned to him as Kabuto stood up.

With each passing second that Kabuto looked at Orochimaru, his thoughts became more and more disoriented. "Orochimaru-sama…" he said softly and put on his glasses absentmindedly.

He turned away abruptly then said, "Sasuke will need another teacher. The last one was killed," The voice he used was as if they were discussing the weather. "You will find a suitable one, won't you?"

"Yes, Master," he heard himself say breathily and regretted the short time he was able to be with him.

"Good."

---

"Orochimaru-sama!" Kabuto nearly sang as he entered the room where he was sitting. A day had already passed and the drug was in full effect. On Kabuto's face rested an awkward grin and balancing on his right hand was a plate with something on it.

Slit eyes gleamed in the darkness of the room as he neared. "What is it this time, Kabuto?" he hissed softly and glanced at the plate. A vial of his usual medicine was on it and also something that looked like… cookies?

"Since you've been taking so much medicine, I thought you'd might something to go with it!" he chirped cheerfully and picked up the vial daintily, handing it to his master.

"What is with your abrupt behavior change, Kabuto? It almost makes you… desirable…" Orochimaru purred, his hand snatching the vial away from Kabuto's outstretched hand.

A smile of pride and embarrassment stretched Kabuto's mouth. "Thank you, Orochimaru-sama! Should I just leave the cookies here for you?" A quick nod and the return of an empty vial confirmed his answer. A quiet hiss of disgust filled the air as the taste of the medicine seeped onto Orochimaru's tongue.

"I hope you feel better!" he said gleefully and skipped outside, leaving his master with the cookies.

"Hmmm…" the hum vibrated through the air as Orochimaru's eyes stalked Kabuto as he left.

---

"Kabuto, why are you in my room?" Orochimaru asked in his usual voice, but this time it was hinted with amusement.

"It's cold tonight. I thought you might be able to sleep better if…"

"Hmmm…" Orochimaru hummed again and shifted slightly. He felt Kabuto's arms tighten around his waist and his head burrow deeper into his hair. His breath was warm on his neck as he breathed. Though Orochimaru couldn't see him right now, Kabuto was wearing a satisfied expression.

_Kabtuo-kun is getting so attached to me now…_Orochimaru thought with interest.

---

"Hm… Too bitter," Kabuto murmured to himself and mixed in some more of the sweet chocolate into his batch. He stirred thoughtfully and blushed when he eventually thought of Orochimaru again. The drug had been powerful enough to wipe out his previous thoughts of trying to find a cure. His only goal was to make Orochimaru as happy as possible.

He stuck his finger in again to taste it and nodded with approval. Readying the square molds he poured the batch into them slowly. _I can't wait until I give these to Orochimaru!_ He thought girlishly.

"Kabuto, what is this on your face?"

"Hm?" He lifted his hand to wipe off the chocolate but was stopped when he heard a firm, "Don't." He halted as he was ordered to do and moments later he could feel the wetness of Orochimaru's tongue licking his face.

"It tastes good…" he murmured with a bit of seduction mixed into his voice.

"Really?" Kabuto asked expectantly, holding the package of chocolate in his hands.

"Yes..." Orochimaru answered. "Don't you think so, Sasuke-kun?" He reached up to rub the cheek of his new subordinate. Kabuto's face fell so he missed the flinch that Sasuke couldn't hold back when he felt Orochimaru touch him.

Sasuke's jaw tightened and he leaned farther away from the throne-like chair in which Orochimaru was sitting on. His eyes narrowed into the look of distaste.

"Here, Orochimaru-sama…" Kabuto muttered, placing the package onto Orochimaru's lap, bowing, then leaving.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun… You don't think I disappointed him, do you?" Orochimaru chuckled as soon as Kabuto was out of earshot.

---

"May I speak to you alone, Master?" Kabuto stood there with a stony face. His voice was monotone and serious as he asked Orochimaru to clear out the room.

"Of course, my pet…" he said and waited for a few seconds. Sasuke obediently left the room and closed the door behind him, his face contorted with undisguised disgust. "Now, what is it that you want to speak to me about so ardently?"

"Orochimaru-sama…" Kabuto walked closer to his master and fell to his knees, gripping the robe that he was wearing. "Orochimaru-sama, please…" he buried his head into the folds of the cloth, crying out of desperation.

The cold laughter of the man filled the air as he watched his follower beg him. He didn't have to finish his sentence. "Come here, Kabuto…" he commanded.

Kabuto did as he was told and wiped his eyes hastily, taking another step to Orochimaru. He didn't flinch when Orochimaru half stood and grabbed his collar, then sat back down, thus pulling Kabuto down as well. His face was inches from the medic nin's.

An evil smile twitched on Orochimaru's lips as he leaned in and kissed Kabuto. The young man's eyes widened when he felt his master kiss him. It was an uncomfortable position to be in, half standing, half crouching.

As if he sensed his follower's discomfort, Orochimaru stood up and held him close to his own body without breaking their kiss. Suddenly he pulled away and stared deep into Kabuto's eyes. That smile never leaving his face.

Kabuto panted, his mouth still slightly open. He excepted Orochimaru to kiss him again but was shocked when he felt himself being lifted up and thrown back until he hit the floor and rolled a few times. His glasses flew off when he landed. He lied there for a few moments before picking himself up and supported himself on his hands and knees. There was a long gash on his arm where it rubbed against the rough floor.

"Kabuto, you fool…" he heard as he tried to breathe. Mirthless laughter echoed through the giant room, rising and falling as Orochimaru sat back down. "Idiot, get out of here!" he yelled.

Shaking, Kabuto picked himself up and straggled to the floor, clutching his injured arm and located his glasses. He crouched down and picked them up, his vision blurry with tears. His face burned with indignation as he stumbled outside and closed the door, still hearing his master's laugh.


End file.
